Choices – Page 2 – "…because you matter!"

Christian = ?

I know that I live in a day and age where I am judged by the word “Christian”, but the problem with “Christian” is that there is no singular definition that suffices.
Is it “Christian” by my standard or yours, because they are probably not the same?

“Christian” has taken so many meanings from so many corners of the world for so many different eras. For some, “Christian” gets its definition from the Crusades. For others, it is the standard by which my wife wears her hair. And, I agree with you those two are not even close to being on the same playing field, but that is how diverse and how polar the word “Christian” has become. It has taken on its definition from the actions or lack thereof of those who are supposed to be learners of Jesus.

So, you can have “Christian” I don’t want it. I don’t want to have my life governed by a sliding scale of judgment, innuendo or manipulation. You can try and put the term on me, but I’ve decided not to wear it.

I’ve decided that I would rather get lost in the identity of Jesus. I want to live, love and look like him. Oh, he had his accusers. He had those who wanted him silenced. They were more interested in their name, their pedigree, and their protocol. The accuser’s religious pride could not handle someone who just did not care about his religious appearance or his family name.

Yes, I’ve decided that I want my life to be on a trajectory of Christ. If I can stay on that trajectory, then my life will have meaning. I’ll agree with you again; I’m still a long way off, but that is where I am heading.

By the way, I love the way my wife does her hair.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Inconsistency

Inconsistency

So what do you do? What do you do when you find yourself being inconsistent?

I don’t have personal experience here, but others I’ve heard…Right? I’m sure each of us has had times when, being brutally honest, we don’t measure up to the exact measurements that we expect of ourselves. Yes?

Well, one tact is to pretend this is a problem for someone else and just move on. It’s the same idea of, “Don’t worry about where you are, just run faster.” Going faster might show great enthusiasm, but little to no reality for consistency. “But, if people see that I’m busy then they will respect me, honour me, love me…”

Then there is the honest way. I’m human, and I have the exact struggles that you have. Maybe I’m stronger in a given area, but I also am weaker, that’s right, I said weaker, in another.

The bottom line?

I guess I need to grow. I need to struggle to have life work well for me. I guess, “I guess I’m inconsistent.” There I said it.

Now I know where to work. Do you care to work with me?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Humility

Humility – Who Qualifies?

We are not talking about the book, mythological or actual, “Humility and How I attained it.”

It is not something that I have arrived at and now “I will instruct you,” but I am on a journey.

Rather than arrive, I embrace the idea and the reason for humility.

Humility is not; walking around with our heads hanging down having an Eeyore kind of attitude, “It really doesn’t matter anyway.” It’s not about being poor; it’s not about being the last or least although when confronted, with these things, it will show up.

Humility is not about discrediting yourself or your abilities. It is not about pretending or being glum. It’s not about a comparison with anyone (human) else.

I believe that humility is a wide-eyed, open understanding of who you are in light of who Christ is. All my learning, understanding, wisdom, and talents are laid open before God. Then I see him in all of his glory, or all the glory I can perceive and the result is humility.

If I compare myself with you I might even get to look good, (usually in my own eyes) but when I compare myself with Christ, I am at best, a work in progress.

Jesus, the only one qualified to have a reputation, took none. We, who are unqualified, try to get a reputation.

Jesus humbled himself. (Philippians 2). We who are unqualified should have the same mindset and do the same.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Process

Change That Works and Lasts

As soon as I catch a hint of vision, of something great, I want to be there sooner than later.
Raised around the push-button culture, I have been affected. If it takes more than a second for a screen to pop up on the internet, I start double clicking buttons and seeing if I can speed it up a bit. Oh yes, we expect instant, immediate, and we can even marshal a Broadband Speed Test to verify our angst.
We are the result of our past culture and have continued to perpetuate impatience in our present.
Even though the foot tapping and fingernail clicking pass the time as we wait, it is counterproductive for what is important.
There probably isn’t a person who doesn’t want to change in some regard in their life. This desire makes itself evident from marketing in our culture and purchase financing that accompanies it; we are looking for the missing ingredient to change and make our lives better, faster, more comfortable, efficient, and more desirable.
The fact is the part isn’t missing. The component is age-old, and it works at the speed of change as it has for many millennia.
It works through a chain of events that are intrinsically linked. These work with precision and accuracy and may well be one of the only ways that lasting change can happen.
The chain is this: suffering, trials, and faith testing -> perseverance, maturity, character, and completeness -> hope, not lacking anything. (James 1:4, Romans 5:3-5, NIV)
I would rather push a button as I would bet you would as well; this is why many swear off on our generation and say that once you become an adult, you don’t or can’t change.
But, you can! Do you want to change? Do you really want to become the person you vision in your dreams?
The formula then is: suffering -> perseverance -> character -> and hope. It may not be inviting, but it doesn’t have to be negative. The label will ultimately identify the attitude you take toward the discomfort that comes with true change. That label is what you determine, either positive or negative.
Here’s the thought; keep the focus on who you want to be and process these uncomfortable requirements. You won’t have to hunt them down; they will present themselves to you soon enough. The result of this three to four step process will be a new hope and new future, but not right now. Process.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Personal

35 Years and Love

Things I have learned from 35 years of marriage:

Forgiveness – I have learned how to give forgiveness, and probably even harder, how to receive forgiveness.

Faithfulness – I have learned how God has shown up every time to help, heal and renew. I have observed how to imitate Our Father In Heaven in learning to be faithful.

Grace – Grace is not just a burp in God’s justice, but an enabling of his purpose in our lives and our marriage.

Change – I have learned that I need to change and that I cannot change my wife.

Repentance – I have trafficked here way too often and have had to seek forgiveness with repentance – and if not, how to repent anyway.

Courage – We are living our lives, unscripted, unrehearsed. We live to face the music each day’s song with a smile and hope for our future.

Respect – I have had to learn to respect just because. Respect is paramount to our success and our ability to move forward.

I have learned to communicate – She doesn’t always think my thoughts the way I think she should. Nor do I think hers. Thus, we’ve needed to talk and listen to each other.

Humility – Realizing that I am not what this is about. We are walking together; we are side by side; we are equally engaged and responsible. We, us, our, are our pronouns of choice. If I hurt her, it hurts us. If she hurts me, we ‘smart’ together. If I give up my life, I get ours. I win by giving.

Giving – We have decided that it is not 50/50. If we are giving, it is all in 100%/100%. What is mine is ours. What is hers is ours. We have given and had given up, but what we have given up we have gained back in spades. I would have us, we, and ours all over again. She and the marriage that she shares with me are so worth it.

Love – How much time do you have? – We have loved each other deeply from the heart. We believe that “Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:8, NIV)

Love is a four letter word and sometimes it is plain old work. Sometimes it is spelled, WORK.

These are some of my thoughts about today.

Here is my thought about my wife, “Linda I love you so much. You are the one that I adore, honour and serve with my entire life.” I love you, babe!

Phil

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, What's in your hand?

Through Me?

I don’t know enough. That is probably true. But, what do you know?
I don’t have enough experience. That could also be true. But, what experience do you have?
I don’t know what to say. In a moment of stress or pressure, everyone can fish for words. What can you say?
I am not qualified. If I were living from your vantage point, I would probably say the same thing. But, what are you qualified for?
Isn’t it amazing the excuses we come up with when life faces us with a challenge or an edge? The dodge, the excuse, the hiding to let someone else step up, is very human. You will find it as far back as the ancient deliverer/emancipator, Moses.
Moses gave up all the excuses. His self-worth was so non-existent that it was based on someone else’s self. He wanted God to choose someone else, anyone else, but God wouldn’t let up.
God asked him, “What do you hold in your hand?” Moses held a stick, a dead piece of wood and you thought that you didn’t have anything to offer. With that stick, God engineered one of the biggest people movements in history. It’s an amazing story, good for a reread. (Exodus).
So here we sit some thirty-two hundred-ish years later, and we have the same excuses.
The difference? We are so much more endowed with greatness and great opportunities. Our technologies put us leap years ahead of anyone from that former era. We can learn, read, and apprehend at a pace profoundly greater.
There is something else the same. We have the same God. Again, he has endowed us with greater access to him than back then. We now have an audience with the Master of the Universe with just a simple request. Phenomenal.
So really, what is your excuse?
What is it you have in your hand? Could it be that it is precisely the thing, the talent, the knowledge that God is looking for?
Any chance you are willing to lay it down, and give it to God?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Spiritual Parallels

Spiritual Parallel

When it comes to life and faith, which is more important, ‘For’ or ‘In’? Huh?

Both of these words carry a huge impact with regards to how you process your life and your faith.

The ‘For’ part:

It occurs to me that we need the executive level provision. What do I mean? We need a provision, a place, an opportunity made available. We need a pre-arranged set of circumstances to facilitate our next step.

Let me explain.

I have spent my last couple of weeks in Camp. Because of the “Beast,” the Fort McMurray Fire, my work has been provided and dispatched from a Camp setting. The camp exists because of those who have initially set it up; by those who manage its facilities, and the company I work for who has accessed the facilities and finally whoever pays the bill, fortunately not me.

I have full access to the entire facility, within the rules of its use. It is actually quite amazing; the food; the room where I can have the quiet to write a piece like this and where I can peacefully sleep; all the amenities. All of this provision is ‘For’ me and a few thousand others.

The “In” part:

How I use the provided facilities is entirely up to me. I can choose to eat at the times provided, the food has been fantastic, or not. My choice. I can use the Common Room for recreation or not. I can walk/run the track or play basketball or badminton in the gymnasium. Or, I can decline.

For some, Camp is just a place to be, to endure for the next period of time. I have chosen differently.

I decided that if I have to be away from family and my regular life, if I have to be displaced by the fire, then why not make it pay?

I have been daily hitting the gym and work out area. I have been eating well and healthy and walking upwards of 10k a day. Really.

What have I done? I have chosen to apply, to use, to leverage what has been provided ‘For’ me and make it work ‘In’ me. My choice.

The spiritual parallel:

There has been a provision made for everyone. God has provided, an executive decision, for all through Christ.

There you have it; it is there for you with all of its amenities.

So, how will you apply it? Your choice.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get to!

Attitude, Wish Upon Wish

Oh How I Wish

Oh, how I wish that I could have a do-over. Oh, how I wish that I didn’t have to go through what I just went through. Oh, how I wish that the first time were sufficient. Oh, how I wish that I could just learn by osmosis. I wish that when I blew out the candles that ease and tranquility would just be.

And then, life.

Life doesn’t behave according to how I wish or how you do for that matter.

In this last week, I’ve had a chance to see some of the results of the Fort McMurray Fire first hand. What impressed me the most was the indiscriminate nature of the fire. This morning I noticed a large patch of burnt grass, and right in the middle, there was about a 3 metre by a 3-metre section of non-burnt, totally exposed, portion of brush. The inverse is true as well. There was no indication of fire anywhere and then there is a severely scorched patch right in the middle of nowhere.

When life hits the way, this Beast hit Fort McMurray we are left stymied. The, “Oh, how I wish!” can impale us if we are not careful. Our strong desire for ease, our fatigued longing for the better and plan-able grow an angst inside that, like fire, can totally get away on us.

So, what do we do? How do we get our equilibrium back?

1) Recognize that stuff happens. In the context of love and perfection, Jesus lets us know through scripture that we are normal. “…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45b, NIV)

2) Recognize that God means to do you good. Romans 8:28 say’s that God works in your life if you turn your thoughts toward him because He’s working out a plan for you.

3) Rest in the fact that God’s got it. (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Now is an opportunity for real change. Instead of wishing, then wishing and wishing some more, hoping for something eluding, place your hope in God’s words.

Then you can begin to say, “I just know that we’re going to be okay!”

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Walk it Out

Wooden Shoes

IMG_3403 (1)

Today I was made aware that there has been conversation about me. How many? How often? I’m not sure. But, one of my colleagues was relaying to me a conversation she had with another former colleague that I do not immediately remember. She was trying to describe me to him.

“Oh, the Dutch guy with the wooden shoes,” he exclaimed.

I’m not Dutch, or not mostly, but I do wear wooden shoes quite often. I had to laugh that people ‘wood’ talk about my shoes.

Just as an aside, wooden shoes are excellent for posture and foot support, and, they are very comfortable. Just saying.

But this comment got me thinking. How much of my path, my walk, my life is observed? Some of these answers may never become evident or communicated, but I would venture, most, if not all of my life is under observation or even scrutiny by someone somewhere and at various times.

Then the next question that presents itself to me is, “What am I communicating with my life?”

I think it was Chip Ingram who asked, “If I follow you will I get to Christ, or will I get somewhere else?”

That’s a great question. I’m trying to answer it with my life, not just my shoes, but also my entire walk.

You?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Frazzled, Stress

Frazzled

I’ve seen frazzled from quite a few different angles and vantage points this last week to 10 days as our city of 88,000 had to flee their homes and jobs to save their lives.

As I sit here to write, I find my focus and concentration are somewhat challenged. Things have changed.

I saw my role as ‘Helper’, and so I did. I started helping from where I was.

We weren’t in the evacuation because we had already left a few days earlier, but our son was, we felt helpless and watched as the stories and reports came in. My family was displaced and scattered. I wanted them together with hugs. So, I started doing what I could with Facebook, email and texting, tracking other people’s safety. More than a few onlookers immediately responded as I confirmed their loved one’s safe exodus. Everyone was on pins and needles. Conversations, phone calls, words of encouragement, all flowed from heart, phone and keyboard wherever I could.

Then the second night it hit. I lay down at the end of a long day and all of a sudden it dawned on me, “I am a refuge.” I was ready to help others and see perspective for them, but I wasn’t prepared to be one who himself wondered worried or needed help.

Now several days later, in the hub of activity, I have spent the last few days helping connect people and resources. Tomorrow I’m leaving. I’ve been called back to work so I have to help once again from a distance.

Life has been big for a lot of people this past week. No. Life has been huge for people. It’s been huge for those who have lost and are displaced; it’s been huge for those who have realigned their schedules to take them in. Life has been huge for those who help. Everyone is trying to cope and help.

So? Pray. Pray for those around you. Pray for those you know here and at a distance. Pray for their situations and challenges. But, don’t forget to pray for yourself. Don’t just cope, pray. Frazzle starts to dissipate and settle when you pray.

Let me help you start. “Lord I’m frazzled, I need your peace…”

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!