Choices – "…because you matter!"

Approval, Attitude, Comparisons, Personal, Perspective

Personal Care

So, I read a story today about a guy when he was young, who, almost cavalierly, asked God to fill his life with the power of the Holy Spirit. He accounts that God immediately answered and he felt God’s power. His life went on to be amazing. The events of his life took a positive graph position, up and to the right, and, looking at his life today, that appears to be exactly what happened.

That is not what happened to me. Oh, when I was young, I felt God amazingly fill me, but my life went anywhere but up and to the right. This reading today was an emotional GPS moment of truth versus feelings for me.

I would like to be able to tell the story of success and accomplishment, according to my version of those things, according to the way that story I read today worked, but that is not my story. Rather my story is one of a very Blue Collar, slug it out, and figure it out type of life. The two books I have written, Blue Collar Theology and Path Out – Eliminate the Swirl, tell some of these accounts.

My point?

Does God show favouritism? Do some get the “Blessed or Easy Way,” while others of us get to clean up the mess? Sometimes it seems so. But, it is not so!

God carefully, amazingly, intimately, and personally cares for you. He is working a plan that supports and includes you, even if it isn’t immediately obvious.

He wants to connect with you in such an incredible and purposeful way. All you need to do is what I did: Acknowledge him in all your ways, (this includes your emotions at the moment) Proverbs 3:5&6, and choose truth over feelings.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Approval, Attitude

Who is Your Fan?

My last weeks were filled with preparation. I worked a full-time job, gave hours of volunteering and I took on two different speaking engagements with just two week’s lead time for one and one week’s lead time for the other. I spent hours of preparation for two different audiences with two various topics to be relevant to two separate groups of people. Why, because my message was important and I didn’t want to waste anybody’s time or be unprepared for the topic at the moment.

I wanted the audience for which I was preparing to be fully appreciated.

We can perceive our life to be daily viewed and reviewed by all who are proximal. These proximity persons could be mistaken as our audience. We might even find ourselves bending or straining to gain their approval. The pressure that we perceive from them could if we let it force our decisions. “What will they think if I…did, or didn’t do…?” But really, is this with whom we should be concerned?

I remember a phrase that I heard many years ago, “We play for an audience of one.”

The urbandictionary.com gives a definition to the ‘audience of one’: focusing our “performance–what we do, say, think… or not, so as to be acceptable to one person, individual or deity”

Paul, in a context of those proximal, says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, NIV)

Our words affect others; our actions may inspire, instruct, or even discourage, but we only play for the audience of one.

At the end of the day, the end of my life, there is only one person whose approval I want. “…Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 5:21, NIV)

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Change, New Path

Path Out –

Chapter 1 Bought the Hat and T-Shirt

Defeat Conflict All Five Ways

You needn’t have been alive very long to suffer the emotional effects of conflict, trouble or misunderstanding. These effects have probably already lasted way too long.

When you have pain from mishap or wrong done, and you have wrestled with the hurt from a life that has gone sideways or soured, you have got to do something. Somehow you have to process your shock, hurt, remorse and grief.

It is Personal

Pain and hurt were brought home to me in a poignant and remarkable way. I had taken my family through the shame, regret and humiliation of bankruptcy. I had failed in business. As a Christian, I was against this failure and everything that had transpired to cause my life to fall apart. Caught in the middle and found guilty, I was reaping the full harvest of a life gone wrong, mine. I was in complete consternation.

I had to move away from family and home to find work, just to make our ends meet, and, possibly find a way out for us. This separation only added to the guilt of my circumstance. I was alone with my thoughts, and I didn’t like them.

I had rehearsed the events that led up to bankruptcy ad-infinitum. I took that rehearsal to the Lord in prayer many times. I felt lousy, condemned and abundantly guilty.

I had owned my mess in its entirety, but the weight of it continued to oppress me. I knew it was my fault, and I knew I had to live with it.

After seven months apart I was able to relocate my family to our new home and try to start new.

One more time I cried out to God and was asking him to forgive me. Then something strange and remarkable happened. I heard his response to my thoughts, in my thoughts, and it shocked and halted me. He said, “I can’t.”

What do you mean you can’t?

I immediately thought I had heard wrong, and so I challenged the thought. “You are God, who always forgives. Something is obviously wrong with my hearing and, or, my understanding.” I reprocessed the part of the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.” I had forgiven and repurposed to forgive again. I came again, “You are God, who always forgives.” He responded, again in my thoughts, “I can’t forgive something you are not guilty of.” I was perplexed, hopeful and still halted.

I began to understand, and from that moment, began to find a lasting peace.

I had taken care of and owned “my stuff” for which I was guilty. I had thoroughly dealt with it in openness and confession but “it” was only part of the problem. I was stuck because I had seen “it” as the whole problem. There were four more ‘causes’ that worked into the complexity of the problem. It was only when I completely dealt with all five of these sources that I was able to walk out in freedom. I was forgiven, clean and on the path to restoration.

Five Sources of Conflict

The sources of conflict were: Myself; Others; The World Around Us; The Devil; and God. These are the five areas that I needed to understand and now need to communicate with you so that you can make sense of your life and completely deal with your hurts and remorse of your past. They are the precise points where you can experience victory; a victory uniquely yours. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they [you] may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV) [Inserts, my own.]

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Focus

Go for the Colour

I love the extravagant splash of Fall colours. The sun rises or sets and the field narrows, it becomes targeted by cloud cover and the brilliance becomes breathtaking; oranges, yellows myriads of green all exploding on the nearby hills.
But then, there is also the bland and the barren in copious amounts. The scorched black and grey, brownish and overcoming, all-encompassing reminders of a terrifying day; The ‘Beast’ took its toll. So we are left with a painful reality that both exist, beauty and the ‘Beast.’
Where will you look? What will capture your focus?
It is impossible but that you will see. It is totally a choice as to where you look
Go for the colour. Go for the splash!

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Perspective

Thumbprint

Life can get extremely stressful. We can struggle with agendas, time restraints, expectations, shortfalls, and so much more.

It is so easy to get caught in the swirl of the immediate, the tyranny of the urgent, and the ‘have to’ of the moment. After all, everyone expects it now.

It’s true; things have to get done, budgets need to balance, deadlines have to be met, commitments need to be kept. Stack onto this loss, failure and missed moments and you have a volcano ready to blow! And that is just the workplace.

Now come home to what feels like a litany of expectations and family commitment. At times, it can be just overwhelming. It can be hard to hold or regain equilibrium.

This locomotion of this multi-car freight train seems impossible to control.

How do you stop this menace?

Years ago now, I managed to locate my house from a flight as we flew over our city. I measured it with my thumb as I looked out the window. My thumb covered my entire property. I said to myself, “I am spending my whole life working for something that I can cover with my thumb?”

Perspective.

How do I wrestle my life back into perspective? How do I regain balance and margin?

I guess I have to ask myself the hard, revealing and penetrating questions.

What am I really working for?

What, rather who, matters?

I want to spend my life for who and for what is most important.

How about we do that together?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Grief and Loss

Let’s Talk About Loss!

You can win by losing. Really.

I, and some others are doing it. It is going to be fantastic for all of us.

My friend has crafted a plan by which about 24 of us can actually benefit from loss.

Of course, you guessed it; I’m talking about weight.

We will benefit physically, and a couple, maybe more, financially. We will lose and win after a six-month challenge. What could be better than, for the next six months, learning to live healthier, eat better and work out regularly? From where I sit, soon to be working out, I think that is a win.

Now, what about life?

How can you win from losing?

I think that there is a trick to it. Here it is. If you have to go through some tough stuff, make it pay! Don’t go through with complaint; go through with getting a wider angle, a larger reference, a shifted paradigm.

That’s how it works. You either let it wreck you for the bad, or you let it wreck you for the good.

I think that Andy Stanley said it, “Wisdom is simply the widest angle of perspective possible.”

So, if you are going to go “through it” at least get the wisdom, that is readily available, from it.

Then, and only then, you will win by losing.

So, let’s talk about loss!

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Don't Worry

I Did It Again

I did it again.

I tried to bring tomorrow’s worries onto today’s grid. That can even work sometimes, but not when you have a full load today; all that does is overload, blow circuits and cause the angst to skyrocket.

I know better.

I would coach you differently.

Without even thinking; actually that is the problem, I was not thinking.

Possibly like you I was just going along ‘handling’ my day. As more things presented, I just added them to the ‘handling’ stack. No thought, no challenge, just piling them higher, deeper, thicker.

All at once they hit, and I was feeling overwhelmed. I’m glad that I’m the only one who has ever done that. But then I started to think and filter but first I prayed, “Lord I am feeling overwhelmed right now.”

As I filtered, I thought:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34, NIV)

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16, NIV) That grace to help interprets to me, “God’s enablement” to help in our time of need.

This one I kind of stole from Moses’ blessing to Asher, “The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days.” (Deuteronomy 33:25)

These filters allowed me to equalize my tanks and recalibrate my pressure. Now you can do the same.

We have everything we need to cope and manage for today. We, however, overload the day when we borrow worry from tomorrow.

Come back to the moment. As often as you need to, come back to the present. Actually, come back to His Presence. He has Grace, Enablement, more than sufficient to meet you and to help you.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude

Step Up

So much of my life has had to do with the retrofit, examining and reflecting. This pondering and taking stalk has proven to be invaluable; but, once you have figured out how you ‘roll’ then you have to begin the action of rolling.

What is the plan? What are the steps? How do I break it down into the bite-size pieces? Who do I need to partner with to make it happen? What do I need to avoid? When am I going to start? When will I accomplish my goals? What will the accomplishment of these goals look like?

This ‘getting it done’ is where I need to live. These are the next steps for me.

Not just a vision, though imperative; not just a dream, though essential, just a well laid-out, step-by-step, growing plan that has been initiated and is what I follow.

These are my steps.

What are yours?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Time Management

Moments In Time

We live our lives, augmented with moments.
Moments used to be an actual measure of time many years and moments ago.
There were 40 moments in a solar hour which was the day divided up into 12 equal parts between sunrise and sunset. Moments then as now were on a sliding scale depending on how long there was the sun in a day. Today they slide as well depending on how much time you pause or linger.
Are moments only given so we can have a philosophical view? That was a surreal moment, …a tragic moment, …and that was a precious moment. Is that the only reason why we have the stall in time in our minds?
Or, are these moments an opportunity to transform our perspective, an opportunity to invite the divine?
I’ve been doing the latter for this last while. I’ve changed one word in a scripture passage that I memorized in my childhood, and I’ve been applying it with frequency.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV)
I’ve changed ‘ways’ to ‘moments.’ “In all your ways [moments] acknowledge him,” or a different translation would say, “in all your ways [moments] submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV)
Taking our moments, all of them, our great ones, right on down to our lousiest ones, and submitting them to him, right at the moment, we will be given the path out of wherever we are emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
Maybe take a moment to think about that.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Character, Inconsistency, Integrity, Worth

Everyone Else Is

What do you do when everyone else is doing it?

There is ample opportunity to cut corners, to cheat, to ‘score,’ to sell the flawed dressed up as the perfect, after all, everyone else is doing it, or are they?

I can hear my dad in my ears, “Well if everyone else was jumping off a bridge would you do it?”

The answer is supposed to be ‘no,’ but I’ve grown up in a culture that actually jumps off bridges and pays someone for the opportunity. So the point gets clouded and indistinct. I see a culture today where there is a lot of ‘fuzz’ and not enough clarity.

Where are the Daniel’s of our day, the three Hebrew children? Where are the uncompromising, the integral, the honest if you will?

When it seems not to matter when no one appears to be looking, where are the men and women who play it straight?

Do you know anyone like that?

Do your friends?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!