Life Perspective – Page 2 – "…because you matter!"

Change That Works and Lasts

As soon as I catch a hint of vision, of something great, I want to be there sooner than later.
Raised around the push-button culture, I have been affected. If it takes more than a second for a screen to pop up on the internet, I start double clicking buttons and seeing if I can speed it up a bit. Oh yes, we expect instant, immediate, and we can even marshal a Broadband Speed Test to verify our angst.
We are the result of our past culture and have continued to perpetuate impatience in our present.
Even though the foot tapping and fingernail clicking pass the time as we wait, it is counterproductive for what is important.
There probably isn’t a person who doesn’t want to change in some regard in their life. This desire makes itself evident from marketing in our culture and purchase financing that accompanies it; we are looking for the missing ingredient to change and make our lives better, faster, more comfortable, efficient, and more desirable.
The fact is the part isn’t missing. The component is age-old, and it works at the speed of change as it has for many millennia.
It works through a chain of events that are intrinsically linked. These work with precision and accuracy and may well be one of the only ways that lasting change can happen.
The chain is this: suffering, trials, and faith testing -> perseverance, maturity, character, and completeness -> hope, not lacking anything. (James 1:4, Romans 5:3-5, NIV)
I would rather push a button as I would bet you would as well; this is why many swear off on our generation and say that once you become an adult, you don’t or can’t change.
But, you can! Do you want to change? Do you really want to become the person you vision in your dreams?
The formula then is: suffering -> perseverance -> character -> and hope. It may not be inviting, but it doesn’t have to be negative. The label will ultimately identify the attitude you take toward the discomfort that comes with true change. That label is what you determine, either positive or negative.
Here’s the thought; keep the focus on who you want to be and process these uncomfortable requirements. You won’t have to hunt them down; they will present themselves to you soon enough. The result of this three to four step process will be a new hope and new future, but not right now. Process.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Personal

35 Years and Love

Things I have learned from 35 years of marriage:

Forgiveness – I have learned how to give forgiveness, and probably even harder, how to receive forgiveness.

Faithfulness – I have learned how God has shown up every time to help, heal and renew. I have observed how to imitate Our Father In Heaven in learning to be faithful.

Grace – Grace is not just a burp in God’s justice, but an enabling of his purpose in our lives and our marriage.

Change – I have learned that I need to change and that I cannot change my wife.

Repentance – I have trafficked here way too often and have had to seek forgiveness with repentance – and if not, how to repent anyway.

Courage – We are living our lives, unscripted, unrehearsed. We live to face the music each day’s song with a smile and hope for our future.

Respect – I have had to learn to respect just because. Respect is paramount to our success and our ability to move forward.

I have learned to communicate – She doesn’t always think my thoughts the way I think she should. Nor do I think hers. Thus, we’ve needed to talk and listen to each other.

Humility – Realizing that I am not what this is about. We are walking together; we are side by side; we are equally engaged and responsible. We, us, our, are our pronouns of choice. If I hurt her, it hurts us. If she hurts me, we ‘smart’ together. If I give up my life, I get ours. I win by giving.

Giving – We have decided that it is not 50/50. If we are giving, it is all in 100%/100%. What is mine is ours. What is hers is ours. We have given and had given up, but what we have given up we have gained back in spades. I would have us, we, and ours all over again. She and the marriage that she shares with me are so worth it.

Love – How much time do you have? – We have loved each other deeply from the heart. We believe that “Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:8, NIV)

Love is a four letter word and sometimes it is plain old work. Sometimes it is spelled, WORK.

These are some of my thoughts about today.

Here is my thought about my wife, “Linda I love you so much. You are the one that I adore, honour and serve with my entire life.” I love you, babe!

Phil

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Musing

Swag and Stuff

We live in a culture consumed with pithy sayings that fit on coffee mugs and t-shirts.

I’ve got to say that I love a well-placed thought/epiphany maybe more than most. A saying that will provoke or inspire, or provoke and inspire is a welcome addition to most days. Occasionally I will meander through Pinterest just to see who is quoting whom and posting what.

What probably isn’t all that useful is a cupboard full of mugs and t-shirts that sit there, a compendium memorial to a moment of, well you know, a moment.

Here’s a thought, ironic, why not take the next worthy ‘pithany’ and engage it. Allow it to seed and germinate. Maybe water it with a muse here or there and enable it to inculcate its way to your sub-auto level. Remember I said worthy.

Let me help you get started. “…love one another deeply, from the heart.” (1 Peter 1:22)

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, What's in your hand?

Through Me?

I don’t know enough. That is probably true. But, what do you know?
I don’t have enough experience. That could also be true. But, what experience do you have?
I don’t know what to say. In a moment of stress or pressure, everyone can fish for words. What can you say?
I am not qualified. If I were living from your vantage point, I would probably say the same thing. But, what are you qualified for?
Isn’t it amazing the excuses we come up with when life faces us with a challenge or an edge? The dodge, the excuse, the hiding to let someone else step up, is very human. You will find it as far back as the ancient deliverer/emancipator, Moses.
Moses gave up all the excuses. His self-worth was so non-existent that it was based on someone else’s self. He wanted God to choose someone else, anyone else, but God wouldn’t let up.
God asked him, “What do you hold in your hand?” Moses held a stick, a dead piece of wood and you thought that you didn’t have anything to offer. With that stick, God engineered one of the biggest people movements in history. It’s an amazing story, good for a reread. (Exodus).
So here we sit some thirty-two hundred-ish years later, and we have the same excuses.
The difference? We are so much more endowed with greatness and great opportunities. Our technologies put us leap years ahead of anyone from that former era. We can learn, read, and apprehend at a pace profoundly greater.
There is something else the same. We have the same God. Again, he has endowed us with greater access to him than back then. We now have an audience with the Master of the Universe with just a simple request. Phenomenal.
So really, what is your excuse?
What is it you have in your hand? Could it be that it is precisely the thing, the talent, the knowledge that God is looking for?
Any chance you are willing to lay it down, and give it to God?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Wish Upon Wish

Oh How I Wish

Oh, how I wish that I could have a do-over. Oh, how I wish that I didn’t have to go through what I just went through. Oh, how I wish that the first time were sufficient. Oh, how I wish that I could just learn by osmosis. I wish that when I blew out the candles that ease and tranquility would just be.

And then, life.

Life doesn’t behave according to how I wish or how you do for that matter.

In this last week, I’ve had a chance to see some of the results of the Fort McMurray Fire first hand. What impressed me the most was the indiscriminate nature of the fire. This morning I noticed a large patch of burnt grass, and right in the middle, there was about a 3 metre by a 3-metre section of non-burnt, totally exposed, portion of brush. The inverse is true as well. There was no indication of fire anywhere and then there is a severely scorched patch right in the middle of nowhere.

When life hits the way, this Beast hit Fort McMurray we are left stymied. The, “Oh, how I wish!” can impale us if we are not careful. Our strong desire for ease, our fatigued longing for the better and plan-able grow an angst inside that, like fire, can totally get away on us.

So, what do we do? How do we get our equilibrium back?

1) Recognize that stuff happens. In the context of love and perfection, Jesus lets us know through scripture that we are normal. “…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45b, NIV)

2) Recognize that God means to do you good. Romans 8:28 say’s that God works in your life if you turn your thoughts toward him because He’s working out a plan for you.

3) Rest in the fact that God’s got it. (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Now is an opportunity for real change. Instead of wishing, then wishing and wishing some more, hoping for something eluding, place your hope in God’s words.

Then you can begin to say, “I just know that we’re going to be okay!”

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

About Pain, Attitude, Growth out of Pain

Beauty for Ashes

Due to the fact that in the last three days a fire has ravaged our city, and around 80,000 people have been displaced, I wanted you to see this.

-And, considering the that in the last three days we have become homeless, for at least the foreseeable future, I think that this scripture from the Old Testament is amazing.

Look at the application of this scripture in Isaiah, 61:1-3, (NIV.)

From this text, I think that our best days are ahead of us.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Will you believe with me for this? It can happen for you. I want to see for everyone, “…beauty for ashes…” What an incredible hope?

You Don’t Have to Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Stress

Strrressss!

Yesterday was stressor #3! But, that wasn’t good enough for us, so we moved it to a 1.5. We felt, “Why not?” Instead of just moving one daughter, we decided to move two to two new locations, well actually they decided, we just ‘parented.’ Not only did we move two daughters we threw in two ferry crossings all within 19 hours, which seems common these days…the nineteen hour part.

Moving from one home to another is considered one of the top five stressors in our North American life. Healthstatus dot com says, “It may be a happy occasion, but it is still a disruption of your routine. And any disruption of your routine causes stress.”

It occurs to me, we don’t want disturbance, that’s why we don’t want to change. The fear that we imagine will be keeps us from moving in our thoughts our attitudes. “It’s easier just to maintain,” we reason. “Don’t rock the boat; I’ve lived this way too long.” Shame. (British/South African for, ‘that’s too bad.’)

When did we start hardening up? When did we become crusty? We changed all the time when we were kids. Now we need some catastrophic event to move us.

Why not turn our faces into the wind and begin to embrace the adventure? Let’s not wait to be moved by some major upset. Let’s decide ourselves. Let’s embrace the discomfort, the unexpected, the mystery.

Pull out all the stops, jump in with both feet, seize the day, taste my metaphor soup and change!

Oh, one more thing. You actually have to move to make this happen.

There were no blow-outs, no fracturing of relationships, no forever regrets; just four tired people. Change can happen. It can happen well.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Get Moving

Location, Location, Location

My wife and I just travelled much of yesterday and through the night last night. We journeyed for nineteen hours all in, to set ourselves up for the next week, month, year and years; my wife for a major trip, myself for a major course for credentialing, and to help my two daughters for a significant shift in their locations.

The key is that we couldn’t do anything for any of that without a change of our position. The location change is temporary but vital and necessary for the accomplishment of all those goals.

I’ve heard the phrase, so you must have too, “Location, Location, Location.” From the phrase, from the emphasis, location is a huge deal, but it is.

Our place we hold in life, the place we currently are and the place we need to be is location or attitudinal particular.

What changes do you need to make to prepare your readiness, your availability, your centre of operation? What trip do you need to make in your thoughts or attitudes to be proximal for your next move or project?

Faith filled living is all about trajectory and movement towards the object of our faith, Christ.

Take a moment and check your setting. Get proximal to his purpose for your life. If necessary, make the plans and get moving.

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

Attitude, Life-Long Learning

Learning Life

Recently I went back to College. (When you are fifty-six anything less than five years is recent). My intention was to complete a degree as I only had a diploma for my years spent in college. The idea of going back into a controlled way of learning was, to say the least, a bit intimidating. I engaged, and I did well, but my learning didn’t start or stop there.
Years ago I committed to myself to be a “Learner.” I decided to grow and as much as depended on me to increase my learning. I’ve done it formally with certificates and courses as well as informally with books and online courses. I’ve experimented in business with success and failure and, taught by both. Probably more important than anything formal, I have taught myself how to learn.
One of the best questions I have learned to ask is, “Why?” As I try to figure out the answer, I’ve added to my learning.
So, have you stopped learning with your formal education? Has your quest for understanding ceased? I hope not.
Why don’t you commit today, maybe once again to process and understand this beautiful thing called life?
Why not engage again to be a life long learner?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

About Pain, Attitude

How Can Pain Be Good?

Dr. Paul Brand, leading doctor in the breakthrough study of Leprosy in the 70’s and 80’s credited the absence of pain as one of the main contributing problems of this disease. A lack of sensation causes a leprous person to damage their body unwittingly.

It occurs to me that some of us may have removed pain from our emotional docket. Because of incredible, at the time insurmountable hurt we thought it best to not ‘pain’ anymore. For many, that would seem to be a logical decision. Close off to hurt, close off to pain. It’s the childhood vow. “I will never let anyone get close to me again!” After a rape or abuse or extreme humiliation, who would?

Leprosy has done this in the ravage of its disease. It has stopped the pain mechanisms in the body over time of those affected and thus enabled the damage that we have seen in the pictures. Medically it has been battled and has dropped from worldwide millions in the 80’s to hundreds of thousands today. But I wonder how many millions perhaps billions of people have emotionally stopped feeling. How many impenetrable walls erected? How many blockades placed?

At the time, these looked like protection but have proved to be tactics of isolation and loneliness. Eliminating pain can be so damaging and destructive, life altering and sometimes ending.

Today, just for the moment, would you be willing to feel again? Would you be open to taking the path out of your past to begin new?

You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!