The Joseph Series: – Relationally Emotionally Bankrupt

It was that bad!

Don’t you just love/hate when someone gets removed from a situation then they begin to downplay, minimize, or outright falsify the story. “It wasn’t that bad they say.” This forms a pattern and often happens in a cycle of abuse. Once they are out of the terror of the moment, they capitulate and regress on their resolve, and back on the merry-go-round, they go again.

Joseph didn’t get that chance. He moved from bad to worse, to worse, to worse again, and then he was plunged into the worst of it all. He didn’t have time to capitulate or regress. Can you hear him, “You intended to harm me…you actually meant to hurt me… How come you hurt me, you are my brothers? Why don’t you love me?” then around it would go again. Joseph’s cycle was dealing with the facts, not pretending they didn’t happen.

Rejected; abused; lied about; humiliated; abandoned; cast off; demeaned; treated as wholly insignificant; sold, Sold, SOLD; bewildered; hurt; angry; despondent; grief; loss; shock; depression; denial; lonely; all alone; dirty; damaged; mocked.

It was that bad. It really happened. It really hurt badly!

Joseph was forced to be alone and had to process.

Where do you find perspective? Where do you find the will to live another moment?

Recently I wrote the online book, Path Out – Eliminate the Swirl. Get the book, and I will help you process. The book is available through following the links on this site or at

We are told that it took thirteen years for Joseph to come up for air. Thirteen years is a long time to process. He did it well, but first, he had to deal with the stuff that he had to process.

Tragically we can miss the depth if we just read it as a nice informative Sunday school story, or if we just moralize it and throw in a pithy saying or two.

There is a real help for real hurt. There is a real process for real emotional damage. There are strong, reliable aids within the depths of this story that will restore your years.

Let me help you.

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You Don’t Have To Live; You Get To!

The Joseph Series: Family Dysfunction

What does your dysfunctional family of origin have in common with my dysfunctional family of origin? Well, the question says it all. The question is entirely answered in another’s dysfunctional mess of a family story; Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is our modern version of this ancient story.

Joseph’s father’s obsession, just one of his dysfunctional characteristics, was how the family portrayed themselves to the world. His dad cared more about their family image than what atrocities the family’s boys had inflicted.

We see in this biblical family mess upon mess, insult upon injury, and imbalance upon outright off-centeredness. If you look up the word dysfunction in the dictionary you will probably find a picture of the “Jacobites,” all the boys, the sisters, the four moms, and of course Jacob himself. This is the home (tents) that Joseph grew up in.

Since foundations are critical; since beginnings often dictate the race; or as the idiom would say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Joseph conservatively had the deck stacked against him.

All of that was in play before the story that we have come to know:

Joseph, the dreamer

Joseph, the big mouth kid

Joseph, the tattletale

Joseph, the favourite

Joseph, the hated

Joseph, the throwaway

Joseph, the left for dead

Joseph, the sold

Joseph, the …deck stacked against, come from a mess, sold into a mess; somehow became second in command in the Egyptian Dynasty/Empire, dream fulfiller, and vision caster.

What a story.

What a metaphor.

What a future; that we can mine hope out of these ancient pages.

Genesis chapters 34 – 45.

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You Don’t Have To Live; You Get to!

Stay In Your Box #2 (re-print from Blue Collar Theology)

Stay in Your Box 2

Pseudo Relationships Abound!

If we remain too busy, and our lives keep screaming ahead, we probably won’t know the difference.

“I Love You,” is a meaningful set of words, but often the catch phrase should read, “If you stay in your box and are available when I need you and what I need you for.”

We live in a generation that has no shortage of communication opportunities. All of our technical world is about building better communication. We can Twitter, Facebook, Face Time, Skype, Google, Text, e-mail and oh I almost forgot telephone, and yet I’m not sure if our relationships are better or have gone any deeper.

There is no doubt about it; relationships are a challenge. They take time, energy, skill and effort.

To have a relationship for real where we can know and be known is rare. So, the temptation is very real for us to have relationships that are “me-time.” If you fit the box, which I determine, only then we can have relationship. If not then maybe we can…text…or something. “Call me and we’ll do lunch.”

The bottom line is I want to control. But, your bottom line is that you want the same. If I want to control you, and you want to control me, the chance is great that there will be no authentic relationship and the love that should flow.

I believe that we are built to be authentic and to have vulnerable and intimate relationships. I think deep inside we crave it.

Jesus taught that the second is like the first, “Love your neighbor as I have loved you.” You might want to notice that he didn’t say, “When your neighbor loves you, then you love.” He left the responsibility on the one who is hearing his words or in this case reading.

If that’s the measuring line, how many of us live as Christian? Do I? Do you?