I don’t measure the amount of water I drink in metres or feet, neither do I build my house by quarts or litres. The right quantifier, measuring stick, is imperative. It makes all the difference and gets the job done.
We need to discover our personal, emotional, GPS. Who we measure against is most revealing.
Already in the previous blog, I tried to discuss the futility of comparing ourselves with someone else. It just produces a false reading.
However, if we compare ourselves with the ultimate source, with God, we get an accurate, though maybe uncomfortable reading, every time.
There is a huge advantage here.
An accurate attitudinal positioning makes for a great foundation in life. It provides for admitting our lack humbly, but at the same time to fully embrace our strengths. The playing field is levelled, we are humanly equal, and both the rose-coloured glasses and the dark shades of shame are eliminated. We no longer need to prove ourselves to anyone. We can breathe deeply once more.
Why?
Because the one we measure against has demonstrated in abundance His acceptance and love for us regardless of where we fall on the scale. He gave us Christmas.
My last weeks were filled with preparation. I worked a full-time job, gave hours of volunteering and I took on two different speaking engagements with just two week’s lead time for one and one week’s lead time for the other. I spent hours of preparation for two different audiences with two various topics to be relevant to two separate groups of people. Why, because my message was important and I didn’t want to waste anybody’s time or be unprepared for the topic at the moment.
I wanted the audience for which I was preparing to be fully appreciated.
We can perceive our life to be daily viewed and reviewed by all who are proximal. These proximity persons could be mistaken as our audience. We might even find ourselves bending or straining to gain their approval. The pressure that we perceive from them could if we let it force our decisions. “What will they think if I…did, or didn’t do…?” But really, is this with whom we should be concerned?
I remember a phrase that I heard many years ago, “We play for an audience of one.”
The urbandictionary.com gives a definition to the ‘audience of one’: focusing our “performance–what we do, say, think… or not, so as to be acceptable to one person, individual or deity”
Paul, in a context of those proximal, says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, NIV)
Our words affect others; our actions may inspire, instruct, or even discourage, but we only play for the audience of one.
At the end of the day, the end of my life, there is only one person whose approval I want. “…Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 5:21, NIV)
You needn’t have been alive very long to suffer the emotional effects of conflict, trouble or misunderstanding. These effects have probably already lasted way too long.
When you have pain from mishap or wrong done, and you have wrestled with the hurt from a life that has gone sideways or soured, you have got to do something. Somehow you have to process your shock, hurt, remorse and grief.
It is Personal
Pain and hurt were brought home to me in a poignant and remarkable way. I had taken my family through the shame, regret and humiliation of bankruptcy. I had failed in business. As a Christian, I was against this failure and everything that had transpired to cause my life to fall apart. Caught in the middle and found guilty, I was reaping the full harvest of a life gone wrong, mine. I was in complete consternation.
I had to move away from family and home to find work, just to make our ends meet, and, possibly find a way out for us. This separation only added to the guilt of my circumstance. I was alone with my thoughts, and I didn’t like them.
I had rehearsed the events that led up to bankruptcy ad-infinitum. I took that rehearsal to the Lord in prayer many times. I felt lousy, condemned and abundantly guilty.
I had owned my mess in its entirety, but the weight of it continued to oppress me. I knew it was my fault, and I knew I had to live with it.
After seven months apart I was able to relocate my family to our new home and try to start new.
One more time I cried out to God and was asking him to forgive me. Then something strange and remarkable happened. I heard his response to my thoughts, in my thoughts, and it shocked and halted me. He said, “I can’t.”
What do you mean you can’t?
I immediately thought I had heard wrong, and so I challenged the thought. “You are God, who always forgives. Something is obviously wrong with my hearing and, or, my understanding.” I reprocessed the part of the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.” I had forgiven and repurposed to forgive again. I came again, “You are God, who always forgives.” He responded, again in my thoughts, “I can’t forgive something you are not guilty of.” I was perplexed, hopeful and still halted.
I began to understand, and from that moment, began to find a lasting peace.
I had taken care of and owned “my stuff” for which I was guilty. I had thoroughly dealt with it in openness and confession but “it” was only part of the problem. I was stuck because I had seen “it” as the whole problem. There were four more ‘causes’ that worked into the complexity of the problem. It was only when I completely dealt with all five of these sources that I was able to walk out in freedom. I was forgiven, clean and on the path to restoration.
Five Sources of Conflict
The sources of conflict were: Myself; Others; The World Around Us; The Devil; and God.These are the five areas that I needed to understand and now need to communicate with you so that you can make sense of your life and completely deal with your hurts and remorse of your past. They are the precise points where you can experience victory; a victory uniquely yours. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they [you] may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV) [Inserts, my own.]
“One day I will be ready!” Have you ever heard yourself say this?
“One day …when…” seems to be a formula for “I don’t think so today. “
Don’t get me wrong. There are very legitimate times when this kind of self-talk is appropriate but, probably not as often as I would like to use it as an excuse.
It’s just easier, let me try that again, it just feels easier to delay, excuse, or procrastinate. Take it from me; it’s only in the feeling arena because the spin-off challenges only get greater as we delay.
Hello, my name is Phil Sovdi, and I am a Procrastinator. There I said it. Now that I am exposed, how about you? Do you delay when you should act?
Part of my problem/challenge is that I want to complete the whole thing right away. If I cannot complete, I don’t want to start. What I am learning and have learned is that a little bit of intentional activity moves me toward the final goal. So, if I do a little today, then a little the next day and so on it’s not long before I have a completed project before me.
Let’s talk spiritual.
What is causing the delay in your spiritual life today? Possibly, “I’m not as good as…, I’m not as smart as…, I don’t have a degree like…, I’m just new at this…” We can probably come up with a myriad of excuses of why we are not qualified to act or move on God’s behalf.
The more skilled don’t live in your shoes, you do. That makes you qualified in that moment. The more competent don’t have access to the information that you have. That makes you qualified at the moment.
Here’s a question, “What can you do for and with God today with what you know?” There will always be stuff that you don’t know, but if you wait until you do you probably won’t do anything.
Take it from me; I’m a recovering procrastinator, I know.
