So, I was raised in a religious family culture that pretended to deal with mess. Oh, if it was on the obvious top five, or on the faux pas list, as long as it was the other person, it was exposed and dealt with in great manipulative, religious style. But, if the mess were on ‘my,’ the person’s in control, shame list, the embarrassing, face-saving list, depending on whose face was being saved, you would be told to forgive and forget about it.
A prayer would be given, and hushed ‘biblical’ counsel would quickly be cited.
“… Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV)
The idea was that the bible supports dropping and leaving important things with a prayer. If that text weren’t enough, you would be given another.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, KJV)
The bible was used to silence pain and create shame misrepresenting the passage and misrepresenting a loving, healing, and forgiving God.
A rule-keeping setting such as what I grew up in is a ripe environment for pain and shame to flourish. Many people experience life-long struggle trying to get over the dominating guilt-induced system of yesteryear.
I’ve come to learn that you cannot forget what you continue to relive on a daily basis.
I’ve also come to know that you can move on and sometimes even forget, once you have stared down and addressed the intimidating and overwhelming.
It really is possible for a person, you, to heal, be restored and be renewed, like it never happened, having the pain, shame, and humiliation gone.
Over the next days/weeks, I want to talk about what that process looks like. I want to talk about how you can walk free and live totally well.
My new book, Path Out – Eliminate the Swirl will serve as a tool in this process.
(Here’s how you can get a copy. https://philsovdi.com/book-offer/)
The very first step to moving out of the swamp and milieu of inner despair is to call it what it is. You need to address the mess, “My life in this area is a mess. I’m no longer hiding, no longer protecting, and no longer excusing the mess. I will, with God’s help take the journey to health and wholeness. So God, will you come right now to me in the middle of my mess and help me? In Jesus powerful name, amen.”